I had lived with Matt for a number of years when he told me that he liked cross-dressing and wanted to do it more. I was pretty cool with that, even when he started wearing 'fake' breasts and I used to buy him make-up, clothes etc.

  Then one-day Matt told me that he felt he should have always had breasts and was not comfortable in his male gender. I was worried and asked him directly whether he wanted to have a sex-change. Matt said that he did not know and we agreed he needed to see a counsellor. After a few sessions he told me, "I'm a transsexual and I think I've known this for years - I'm sorry." I was absolutely devastated, crying and begging him on my knees (literally) not to do this as I wanted to believe that he did not have to transition. Matt began to see Dr Reid, took hormones and became Elizabeth full-time.

  How do I describe the process of transition for a partner? When the person you are with tells you that 'he' is dying? I felt crushed and my whole world just fell apart. I was desperately hoping that Matt would be cured; the persona of Elizabeth was, in my opinion, the 'cancer' that was killing my boyfriend, and for a long time I prayed for her to, "please go away and let me have Matt back."

  I realize in retrospect that whilst it was so hard for me to bear, it was not an easy time for Matt either; and I had greeted his revelation only with my own personal hurts and frustrations.

  Partners of transsexuals have a lot to deal with! You have to realize that this is an integral part of the person you love, then either learn to love them for whom they really are, or let go. I loved Matt and wanted him to be true to himself but in all fairness to Elizabeth we decided to break up. Since then, I have grown, and now I am happy with a new partner - another trans-girl - and Elizabeth is on the way to surgery this year and happy with her new partner too.

  Amy - Roses Forum
 

Copyright 2005 Rose's Repartee Magazine