The Wife's story by Sandi
 
  One day in 1988, while I was pregnant with our child, I came home early from a family gathering to find my partner locked in the bathroom. He would not come out! I thought all sorts of things, the main one being has he got a woman in there? I refused to leave the bathroom door until he came out, and eventually he did and he was dressed in female clothes. I was extremely shocked as I had no idea of any of this going on within our relationship. I/we cried, talked, and I asked if he was gay?! My biggest fear was that our child may come home one day and find her dad dressed the way I did! Anyway I pushed it to the back of my mind for thirteen or so years.

   Sometime later we got a computer with internet access which he was always using. I would ask what he was doing and he would reply, "I'm in a chat room!"

   As time went by we started to talk for hours on end about his cross-dressing. About his feelings, my feelings, and how many others were out there doing the same. I started to take more of an interest and when my partner said he was going to buy a wig I said that I would go with him. I was very nervous and I waited around the shop whilst he tried them on and bought one. The shopkeeper was very good; she was calming, reassuring and discreet. She said she has lots of men in to buy wigs, which made me feel a lot better. We then went shopping and bought shoes, make-up, clothes and handbags. We had a lovely time; I was shopping with my best friend that I loved so very much. Yet I still wasn't ready to see him dressed!

  Later I started to talk in chat rooms on the internet too, I made two very special TV friends, Stella and Charly, who helped me with lots of fears and queries.

  One day I rang home to say I was coming home early from work, he said he was dressed, but I asked him to stay dressed. I was embarrassed at first and I did not dare look. It was very strange; I just kept looking in stages, each stage being a little longer than the one before until I got used to it, or should I say him/her? Sometime later he said he wanted to go out, which I agreed to after some consideration. I was still very nervous about this, but he wanted to express himself and enjoy it.

  One night while he was out with one of our TV friends, Stella, who I had spoken to on-line, I arranged a night out with Charley. I was chatting to her on-line and we arranged a night that the four of us could go out together: Stella, Charley, Nicola (my husband) and myself. It was the perfect time as our daughter was away for the week on a trip. We got ready to go to meet them, but I was very nervous, I was worried for our safety and worried about being recognised. In the end we had a great night chatting to our friends and just meeting each other face-to-face was great too. I just could not believe how many other people were dressing. After a few more times of going out, I thought about how I had pushed this to the back of my mind for so long and that there was really no need to hide this from myself. It was great for my partner to express himself and his feelings in such a way. We became a lot closer both as friends and as husband and wife.

  We have been out and about for a few years now and my knowledge and acceptance has increased. We have met loads of people and made lots of friends. After a few conversations with other TV couples, over children knowing, it got me thinking about telling our daughter. We decided against it first off, thinking she was not ready but a year later we decided she was. She seemed more mature and we were not comfortable lying about where we were going and who we were meeting.

   One night Rosie (our daughter) and I were watching the telly whilst my husband was on the computer. I asked her if she knew what a 'TV' was and she said "no," so I explained to her the best I could. She asked why I was telling her all this and that was the point I told her about her father dressing. She was very shocked and upset so we went to her room where I could explain that it did not alter the fact that he was still her dad, still a man, her dad, and that he still loved her, very much. We chatted about how she had called him 'a girl' in jest and was it her fault? And I explained that it was something that her dad had done since being very young, it was not something you can make go away and it made him feel good when dressed. She also asked if he was gay. She then wanted be left alone for a while, which I did and went to talk to my Husband (Nicola). He/she was amused that I had told her but also quite worried, I checked on Rosie and she said she did not want to see him dressed, but went downstairs and gave him a hug and she said sorry for calling him a girl.

  The next weekend we got ready to go out and Rosie was in her room, but as we left the house I saw her peeping through her bedroom window. This warmed my heart a little because she was more interested than she was letting on, she rang me later on that night to say she had seen him dresses and was OK with it. The next thing I knew they were trying on wigs together, looking at different outfits and trying on shoes (because they are the same size). Then the day came when Rosie wanted to come out with us and meet other TV couples, she wanted to be part of our world! So we took her out to Nottingham Chameleons and Downtown at Wakefield, after meeting some very nice people she wanted to go out more often.

   We are all very close and loving, its great doing it together, no more lies or secrets, we just enjoy ourselves all together as a family.
 
Sandi

 
Copyright 2005 Rose's Repartee Magazine