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Help and support for the transgender community

Holly

I am in my early 60s and got married in the 1970s. About 6 years ago, my husband transitioned to female, having suffered for all of "his" life from gender dysphoria.

He had been cross-dressing for many years before he transitioned, and I knew about it. However, for a long time, I didn't understand the implications of the cross-dressing. I didn't like it but thought it was just some kind of whim, and tolerated it, whilst largely managing to ignore it. During the 1990s, my husband had recurring bouts of serious depression and was eventually diagnosed with gender dysphoria. For various reasons, he didn't go ahead with transitioning at that time. I lulled myself into thinking that it would probably never happen and that he would be able to get by without doing anything really drastic, although he was very stressed and miserable a lot of the time.

In the early 2000s, my husband decided that he could no longer go on living as a man and told me that he was going to transition. In spite of it not being a huge shock to me, I found the transition period (which lasted for several years) extremely difficult and I often felt as if my world was falling apart. For a long time, I was not at all positive about the outcome from my own point of view (though I was in no doubt that it was the only option for my husband). However, I kept going and it turned out OK for me in the end. "He" is now is a much happier, more relaxed person than before.

We remain married and still live together. We have 2 grown-up daughters, both married. It was very hard for our daughters when they first found out about the situation, but after a period of adjustment, I am happy to say that we have been able to resume functioning as a normal family again. With the exception of some of my in-laws (who have more or less cut us off), all of our close family and friends have been very accepting of the situation.

I am now in a position where I feel that I can help others who are in a similar position (there was no way that I could have done this during my "dark days"). I do hope that I will be able to give some encouragement and support to anyone who would like to contact me.

Holly

 

Would you like to join us?

Beaumont Partners is a volunteer organisation, run exclusively by women, for women. We aim to improve the emotional wellbeing of women who are experiencing issues as a result of discovering that their partners are transgender.

If you're a woman with experience of living with someone who's transgender and are willing to share your personal experience to the benefit of others, we'd love to hear from you - why not drop us an email at orchidbp@virginmedia.com

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