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Help and support for the transgender community

Why The Upset?

We live in a society which is very aware of how things look to the neighbours and those around us. If you like, we all 'police the boundaries' to make sure we all conform to what is acceptable in how we look and how we behave.

Therefore we want to avoid any deviation from this pattern which will bring ridicule or worse from those around us. I think much of the upset comes because partners are worried how things will look. It is very upsetting to think that you and your children might be ostracised by the community. It takes a strong person not to mind what others think.

It was totally unexpected, so a total shock. I had not dreamed of such a thing! I did NOT like it! My only meetings with cross-dressers before had been sad occasions at stations and once, at the theatre. I have always needed to respect my partner and I did not want to pity him. It took me quite some time to get my head round it.

First, because one is being asked to embrace something that not only I knew nothing about and something that in my world was deemed amusing and not socially acceptable. Second, my husband had handed over his secret only for me (as I saw it at the beginning) to have to keep it. Thirdly, will we stay married? Fourthly, does this mean my husband wants to BE a woman?. Fifthly, fear of "people" finding out.

After the tears, reason kicked In. I realised that for most of the time Peter/Penny would still be my much loved husband, I just needed to recognize his alter ego. Then, because in the 15 years we had known each other we had been an openly very loving couple I could see that if I made waves to damage the marriage people would want to know why, and having told them I would have confronted my greatest fear, so why cause waves?

 

Would you like to join us?

Beaumont Partners is a volunteer organisation, run exclusively by women, for women. We aim to improve the emotional wellbeing of women who are experiencing issues as a result of discovering that their partners are transgender.

If you're a woman with experience of living with someone who's transgender and are willing to share your personal experience to the benefit of others, we'd love to hear from you - why not drop us an email at orchidbp@virginmedia.com

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